Borderline Art.

via Borderline Art.

Borderline Art 

A Collection By Charlotte Farhan

Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex and severe mental illness which I have and still struggle with on a daily basis. BPD is also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder and there are two types: borderline type and impulsive type, I have the borderline type. Which is a cluster-B personality disorder, this means a person with this disorder displays behavioural and emotional problems with instability, problems forming interpersonal relationships, issues with identity and self-image. Personality disorders are extensive and defined through inflexible patterns of maladaptive inner experiences and pathological behaviour.

Having been diagnosed at 18 after displaying signs as young as 15 I did not understand or even know what this “disorder” was? It was only in my late twenties when I was unable to rely on drugs, alcohol and reckless behaviour to mask my inner turmoil and just blame my lifestyle for my behaviour. As well as self denial there was no information or treatment offered to me so I just swept it under the carpet with my PTSD and Dissociative Disorder. However all this sweeping just made my mental health worse and I started developing more mental illnesses due to my avoidance. I now haveagoraphobia, Generalised Anxiety disorder and OCD and all of these developed due to me acquiring unhealthy ways of coping with my pain and instability.

I have been using art as a therapy since I was hospitalised in a psychiatric unit at 15. Although I stopped during my avoidance phase, I still have used some form of creative therapy: writing poetry and journalling when I was unable to afford painting materials. I could always find a piece of paper and a pen, allowing me some freedom of mind.

Now I use my art in all its forms to express my journey and how BPD affects me, allowing more dialogue and engagement regarding this misunderstood illness as well as inspiring others to talk about their own experiences and hopefully encourage people to use a creative outlet when managing their illness or aiding in recovery.

This is my collection so far…